i know. facebook is to blame, but tonight i have so many thoughts roaming around, that i needed a place to spill them. i was lying in bed, thinking, and i had to come out to the living room to get them out of my head so i could sleep :)
nothing huge. just the fact that today was one of those days that i would stare repeatedly at my family and would be overcome with emotion, love, and gratitude. A mother probably feels every emotion in the "emotion spectrum" each day...maybe even more than once. Today, for me, it was nothing but awe. Awe that these amazing people are a part of me. Awe that my babies are just so smart and loving and funny and creative and beautiful. They are a combination of me and the one person i love most in this world. I stare at them...looking at every curve on their faces...picking out what feature belongs to adam's side and which to mine. I watch them as they talk, interact, sing, do... how can i describe this feeling? If you are a mother/father, you know. Don't you? My babes are becoming these... people...real people who have thoughts and ideas and are funny and cleaver. They are amazing. I honestly ddon't feel deserving of these little blessings. How did i become the one that God entrusted them to? How am i even worthy of such a responsibility? They make me want to be better. They teach me and show me more than they will ever realize. I am overcome. I want time to stand still. These really are the best days of our lives...with our babies under our roof. The four of us together--a family.
And my husband? The one who has watched me grow from a girl to a woman....a bride to a mother. The man who has loved me through it all. He is my biggest fan, he laughs with me, adores me, teaches me, is patient with my shortcomings, has loved me when i'm unlovable, and supports me when i feel down. He has given me so very, very much and has added so much to my life. 12 years next month...i pray we have decades and decades more of life to share together.
i feel blessed this Christmas. so very blessed.